Champagne and roses. Bling, cupcakes and delicious food. These are the makings of a fun wedding. Don't get me wrong, we love all these things...but they're expected when you think all things "wedding". We're a part of the wedding industry and we want to share a few secrets with you. Nope, you won't really find these posted just anywhere. They're so honest, you may be surprised.
1. Wedding planning will not go as planned.
Say whaaaaaaaaaaat? I know, major shocker here. We call planning a journey because you will be navigating hills, valleys, floods and sunshine. It is a series of emotionally charged decisions you and those closest to you will make. You will learn that cake is the most important part of the reception food to your fiance after you decided to have peach cobbler instead. You'll discover that your mother dreamed you would wear a princess ballgown when your heart is set on a sexy trumpet silhouette gown. Dad expects your first dance will be to "Unforgettable" when you were thinking more like "Hold My Hand". You already know everyone will think their opinion matters the most and their advice is best. The surprise comes when you have to figure out who to listen to and who to politely (or maybe more intentionally) ignore. There's no wrong choice. Do what works best for YOU. But adjust your expectations.
2. It actually isn't about the wedding at all.
How long ago did you get engaged? I would say the average is 1 meltdown/month. Why? Most people blame the stress of planning. Nope. That's just the surface. All of a sudden you are face to face with your OWN expectations you never knew existed! Add on you now negotiating emotions about non-wedding related real-life issues that only came up as a result. Again, it's about this crazy new chapter. Now you're thinking about how you will now be a WE and you will be making decisions together the rest of your lives. The wedding planning process exposes your paradigm on how to handle conflict and it may or may not be the same as your partner.
3. You will discover who you truly ARE in life.
I'm guessing you probably thought you knew who you were. Whether you are 21 or 46, you will learn more about yourself than you may have wanted to know. Suddenly, you can't hide behind who you think you are or the person you selectively present in public. The real you will come out and shine, for better or worse. It will be an enlightening experience for you and your partner. Hopefully there will be pleasant surprises in store.
4. The size of your budget doesn't matter.
Even if you're spending six figures on the wedding, there will be miscommunications. Why? Because you're two people with your own set of needs, expectations, priorities and opinions. Add in parents who are contributing and you have even more opportunities to use your conflict management skills. The best way to help smooth the crazy ride is by hiring the RIGHT professionals for you. Yep, that means hire a planner 100%! As wonderful as photographers and venue managers are, they are not planners. Don't expect them to fill that role. You won't regret it. Just make sure they're someone you want around you for 12 hours on your wedding day.
It's time to be honest. Facing reality isn't always at the top of our to do list especially when fantasy and dreaming is much more fun. Yet, now you should be armed with some deep insight into the trenches of wedding planning. Find your tribe. Trust them.